Current Musings On What Makes A Real Gamer

• I Read A Post Over At Sexy VideogameLand
• It Made Me Think About Gamers
• That Is Where The Title Comes From
• Being A Gamer Isn’t About Your Gamerscore
• It’s Not About Your Trueskill
• It’s Not About How Many Games You Have Played
• It’s Not About How Many Games You Beat
• It’s Not About When You Started Playing
• It’s Not About Which Game Is Your Favorite
• It’s About WHY That Game IS Your Favorite
• It’s About Trying To Find Meaning In A Game
• It’s About Being Willing To See A Game For It’s Own Value
• It’s About Knowing The Fucking Story Behind The Games You Play
• It’s About Being Able To Ignore That Story Behind The Game And Play The Game For The Game
• It’s Ok To Have A Favorite Platform
• But It’s Never Okay To Refuse A Game Due To It’s Platform
• What You Get Out Of A Game Depends On What You Put Into The Game

Facts About Kanye West

• He Is Quite Happy For Others
• He Will Allow Others To Finish
• He Thinks I Have One Of The Best Blogs Of All Time
• He Can’t See Out Of His Sunglasses
• He Wishes You Would Stop Being Such A Robocop
• He Doesn’t Enjoy Gold Diggers
• He Likes Fish Sticks
• His Last CD Sucked
• He Is A Gay Fish

Life Lessons From Gurren Lagaan

• If At First You Do Not Succeed, Yell Loudly And Try Again
• Sunglasses Make You Badass
• If I Can’t Find Self Confidence, I Should Have Confidence In Someone Else, Who Will Have Confidence In Me
• If I Want Something Bad Enough, Reality Will Warp Itself Around My Willpower To Make It Happen
• Drills Are The Best Weapon
• Always Make Sure To Eat Properly
• Violence Is A Valid Solution
• Nothing Makes People Cheer Up Better Than Being Punched In The Face
• Love (And Giant Robots Powered With Love) Conquer All

Obama Facts I Learned From FOX NEWS

• His Birth Was Faked
• He Not Only Is He Not American
• He Is In Fact A Robot
• He Is Also A Nazi
• Because The Nazi’s Had Welfare
• Obama Once Listened to Rap
• Obama Smokes Weed Every Day
• Obama Is A Slacker
• He Is Racist
• He Thinks We Are All The Same
• He Works Too Hard
• He Is Going To Destroy The World
• The Mark Of The Beast Is On Him
• He Is Trying To Run The Country How HE Wants, Not How Bill O’Reily Wants
• Obama Hates White People, As He Married A Black Woman
• Obama Is An Oreo Because He Doesn’t Do Enough For Black People
• He Is Forcing Texas To Secede
• He Is A Muslim, Except Not Even He Knows It
• Obama Is Going To Destroy America

Things I Have Killed In Video Games (This Week)

• A Supreme Hunter
• Around 5,000 Soldiers
• 2,000 Civilians
• 10,000 Infected
• 10 Boars
• 30 Wolves
• 4 Ghosts
• Myself Twice
• That One Wall
• 120 Cars
• 70 Rats
• 12 Werewolves
• 100 Dark Temple Followers
• 6 Giant Spiders
• 1 Inn Keeper
• 12 Guards
• 43 Kobolds
• 7 Elves

Cool Things

• Robots
• Ninjas
• Rock
• Sharks
• Lasers

Reasons Why It Isn’t Working

• It’s Broken, Look At That Crack
• It’s You, Not Me
• It Needs Batteries
• It’s Me, Not You
• Plug It In First
• Out Of Gas
• It Needs A New Flux Capacitor
• It Needs A Patch
• The Last Patch Broke It
• It’s Missing A Wire
• You Broke It
• My Cat Broke It
• It Needs To Be Kicked
• It Got Kicked Too Hard

Things To Rock

• You, Like A Hurricane
• Around The Clock
• The Casbah
• Steady
• Dance Floor
• The World
• This Town
• Whatcha Got
• Until The Break Of Dawn
• The Party That Rocks The Party

Best April Fool’s Gags

• Car And Driver Fooled So Epic, It Had To Remove It From The Internet
• Blizzard Did Many A Thing Worthy Of Laughs
• Giantbomb Did A List Of Lists That I Put On A List
• Google Makes Things Easier
• Nine Inch Nails Release The Album Of The Forever
• Wizards Of The Coast Creates Most Balanced D&D Class EVER
• Everything Else Was Not Funny At All
• Humor Is Dead You Know
• But I Am Bringing Humor Back
• Like Justin Brought Sexy Back
• If You Think Humor Never Left Its Because I Brought It Back So Fast
• Don’t Doubt Me
• I Am A Turtle And You Are a Pigeon
• I Will See You Next Update
• Don’t Hold Your Breath For It
• You Will Be Long Dead Before Then
• My Only Reader At That Point Will Be Me
• My Ego Needs More Than Just My Own Attention
• Find Me Souls Of The Pure
• Sacrifice Them To Me
• I Will Give You Candy For Souls
• Good Candy Too
• I Will Let You Pick It At The Store
• As I Am The Best Around

More Of What This Shit Isn’t

• Still Not About Hair
• Nor Is It Bridget Jones
• Possibly Maybe Not About Clothes
• Isn’t Not About Having A Good Fucking Time
• Not About Whining About My Life, I Still Have A Livejournal
• Not Directly About Sex, Even If I Got Some At Frequent Intervals
• Not Entirely About Gaming
• Not Totally Dedicated To Drinking
• Or Music I Listen To
• Still Doesn’t Have Anything To Do With That Blood Debt To Joss Whedon
• But You Should Still Watch Dollhouse
• Or At Least Let Dollhouse Play On Mute On Hulu While You Ignore It
• Just To Bump The Ratings Up
• As If You Get The Show To Season 3
• Elisha Dakishu Or Whatever Her Fucking Name Is
• She Will Show Me Her Tits
• Maybe You Too
• It Will Be A Special Feature On Season 3 DVD Set
• Not Season 1 Or 2
• This Is Why It Needs To Last
• She Will Also Make Out With Every Cast Member As Extra Feature
• You Dig That Shit
• You Dirty Fucker
• You Know I Love You
• I Just Hurt You Because I Love You And You Make Me Crazy When You Don’t Love Me
• I Can’t Help This Shit
• Call My Doctor I Need More Of The Magic Pills That Make Me Feel Not Doomed
• Also Call My Reseller As I Will Soon Have More Shit For Him To Sell
• Those Two Things Are Totally Unrelated
• You Know This Because You Trust Me
• I Trust You Too
• Baby